Parents, Do You Instantly Overreact?

k in the house after a long day at work, andrest of the family is aware that this is very
immediately smell something you shouldn't. It's notimportant. Then, work on remaining calm. You are
the smell of dinner being prepared, it's the smell ofaddressing the situation before the house has
burning plastic. You quickly spot your young son inburned down. Finally, find someone that can
the corner of the living, looking very suspicious.explain the dangers of fire to Kevin, such as a
"Kevin, are you playing with matches again?"fireman.
Naturally, Kevin says no. "I smell somethingStep Five: Do it. Be diligent about keeping matches
burning, are you sure?" Right next to Kevin areout of Kevin's reach. Take Kevin to the fire
several used matches, along with a melted plasticstation, and have a fireman work with Kevin.
toy. You explode, "Kevin, you're going to burn theFireman Bob can show Kevin pictures of fires,
house down! What are you thinking? I've told youexplain how a small match can start a very big
over and over not to play with matches!"fire, and that it is very hard work to put out a big
We know that fires are dangerous things, but tofire. Fireman Bob can explain that people need to
a five year old, matches are just a novelty. Sobe careful around matches, and ask Kevin to
how do you solve your problem withoutagree not to play with matches unless a parent is
overreacting? Try the six logic steps.present.
Step One: What is your problem? You have a fiveMom and Dad, when your child does something
year old that continues to play with matchesthat is dangerous, it's easy to overreact. And
after you've told him not to. He isn't listening.when you act suspicious of your child, they will
Step Two: Analyze your problem. Is getting angrygenerally lie. Kids don't do well with lectures of
helping the situation? Naturally, if you're mad,right and wrong. Fireman Bob doesn't lecture - he
Kevin will try to hide what he was doing. He's notlets Kevin play, and uses play time, pictures, and
listening because you aren't communicating withsimple statements to explain fire. Kevin will
him correctly. He is young, and doesn't understandunderstand much better this way. And Kevin will
how dangerous fire can be. And each time, he hasunderstand you, if you calmly use statements
been able to find matches to play with.instead of accusing questions. Make an agreement
Step Three: Come up with solutions. First,with Kevin about telling the truth. "I think you
matches should be completely out of Kevin'swant me to always tell you the truth, so you
reach. Then, remember that overreacting isn'tneed to be fair and tell the truth to me, too. Can
helping. If Kevin isn't listening to you, who can helpwe agree to tell the truth?" Shake on it. And
him understand how dangerous fire is?remember, Kevin is young. He will break your
Step Four: Make a plan. Put the matches in aagreement. But stay calm and remind him of the
place that Kevin is unable to reach. Be sure theagreement, and he will start to remember.