| In an interaction, whether it is one on one, or in a | | | | empathise with someone's emotion and |
| group, whoever displays the strongest emotion is | | | | psychology state and may simply need to choose |
| leading the interaction at that point in time and | | | | to immediately influence the other person |
| influences the emotion and psychology of all the | | | | towards your emotion. Influence is not only |
| other people involved. Therefore, in a two person | | | | important one on one, but also in group situations. |
| interaction, if one person is showing deep sadness | | | | Let me use an example of influence at the group |
| and the other person is moderately joyful, the | | | | level. I will use the example of a fire. If there is a |
| sad person will have greater influence over the | | | | fire, naturally because there is danger, everyone |
| interaction at least in the beginning and will bring | | | | is going to feel fear. If one person begins to panic, |
| the emotion of the joyful person down towards | | | | everyone else's level of fear is going to increase |
| sadness. | | | | as the panicking person is leading the group with |
| Now this is not necessarily a bad thing if the | | | | the strongest emotion. In this situation, panic is |
| joyful person understands that he or she can still | | | | going to equal disaster as when you are gripped |
| positively influence the emotion and psychology of | | | | with a negative emotion you can not think clearly. |
| the other person. By coming down to that | | | | In order to avert disaster, a member of the |
| person's emotion, the joyful person has a better | | | | group needs to generate an even more intense |
| opportunity to understand and empathise with | | | | positive emotion such as confidence or |
| that person's emotion. As a result of this, the sad | | | | determination and lead the group. The new |
| person may begin to feel better and as the sad | | | | emotional leader would need to show the |
| person begins to feel better the joyful person | | | | panicking person and the rest of the group that |
| may then begin to take the lead and bring the | | | | they are intensely confident and will now be |
| emotion and psychology of the sad person up | | | | leading the group. This will then reduce the level of |
| towards a more positive feeling. | | | | fear in the group and increase confidence as the |
| Humans are social creatures and the more | | | | group attunes to the new leader. This of course |
| positive our social interactions the better we feel. | | | | will not eliminate the fear, as fear is an |
| In our brain we have what neuroscientists call | | | | appropriate emotion in this situation. The confident |
| mirror neurons, and basically what they are there | | | | leader will also still be afraid, it is just that they |
| to do is help us tune into and copy the emotion | | | | have decided to become even more intensely |
| of someone else so we can better understand | | | | confident and determined to find safety. That is |
| them. As we do that, we loop with each other's | | | | why, in order to lead others, the higher-status |
| emotion and the emotion builds in intensity. We | | | | fire-fighter must manage his or her own fear and |
| also often then speak of similar ideas and | | | | maintain confidence. If the fire-fighter begins to |
| concepts. | | | | panic, unless someone else is somehow able to |
| People often unconsciously reduce the intensity of | | | | generate an even stronger level of a positive |
| their positive emotion and psychology in order to | | | | emotion, the group is likely to have no chance of |
| attune with the negative emotions of someone | | | | averting disaster. |
| who has a higher status. However, it is not your | | | | So if the stronger emotion leads the interaction, |
| status but the strength of the emotion you | | | | the emotions you consistently and intensely |
| choose to generate that will determine your own | | | | generate is going to influence how others |
| moods and how you influence others. Even if | | | | perceive and respond to you. If you are happy, |
| have a supervisor who is often angry or | | | | other people around you will become happier. If |
| stressed, it does not have to influence your | | | | you are generous, other people around you will |
| mood. In an interaction with him or her, if you | | | | become more generous, and if you are irritable |
| displayed an even stronger level of calm or | | | | other people around you will become more |
| excitement for example, you would be likely to | | | | irritable as they naturally attune to your emotional |
| influence them and reduce the intensity of their | | | | leadership. That is why in the long term, |
| emotion even though they have the higher status. | | | | consistently happy people begin to maintain |
| Unfortunately though, this is rare, as most people | | | | relationships with other consistently happy people |
| unconsciously attune to the emotion and | | | | and consistently sad people maintain relationships |
| psychology states of the person with the higher | | | | with other consistently sad people, or not at all |
| status, rather than deciding to empathise with the | | | | because others are finding it hard to relate to |
| person if it is possible and then lead them to a | | | | them. I'm sure at some point in your life you |
| more positive emotion. At any point in an | | | | have been to a party. Who is more influential, |
| interaction, you are either leading or being led. If | | | | who do you want to speak to more, the smiling |
| you are being led, make sure it is towards an | | | | bubbly person at the centre of it all, or the angry |
| emotional place you are willing to go. | | | | person in the corner. From those two people, |
| Furthermore, you won't always have time to | | | | who would you rather be? |
