| "If you're going through hell, keep going." -- | | | | of three volunteer departments in the town of |
| Winston Churchill | | | | Darien, which lies between the cities of Stamford |
| Linda Palucci, widow of Eugene Palucci, did just | | | | and Norwalk. |
| that when she lost her husband to a brain tumor | | | | A U.S. Navy veteran, Gene learned to drive large |
| and cancer on March 21, 1992 after a long, | | | | rigs when he was in the service. Linda says he |
| desperate struggle. She went through Hell, yes, | | | | joined the U.S. Navy because he loved the water, |
| but she kept going. | | | | but he was stationed in Tennessee. He told Linda |
| After her long, stress-filled ordeal trying to cope | | | | the only time he saw any ships were in the |
| with Gene's illness and death, she felt it was | | | | Hudson River when he drove over the George |
| important to continue writing down her thoughts | | | | Washington Bridge. As a civilian after his discharge |
| to help work her way through the aftermath. She | | | | from the Navy, he drove a variety of trucks, |
| later felt that her experience could, perhaps, help | | | | moonlighting often as a limousine driver, taking |
| others cope with their grief after the death of a | | | | travelers to the LaGuardia and John F. Kennedy |
| spouse. That's why she decided to publish the | | | | airports in New York. |
| story of Gene's suffering and her own very | | | | Linda, who was born in 1940, daughter of Larry |
| personal struggle throughout his illness and after | | | | and Ruth Northrup, lives in Trumbull, Conn., near |
| his death. | | | | Bridgeport, where she works part-time in a gift |
| Linda tells her story openly and vividly through her | | | | shop at the Beardsley Zoo She began her work |
| tears, often taking from the diary she kept | | | | career as a long distance telephone operator. |
| throughout that horrific time. Chipmunka Publishing | | | | Since Gene's death, Linda has had to face her |
| Co. of the United Kingdom, an organization | | | | own physical challenges. She is a cancer survivor, |
| dedicated to mental health issues and "improving | | | | but first had to undergo a laryngectomy. |
| the way the world thinks about mental health," | | | | In discussing her ebook, Linda said, "This is my |
| published Linda's story recently in an ebook titled, | | | | story of the death and first year of widowhood. |
| "Out of the Slippery Pit." | | | | It is all true. I wrote it to try and make sense of |
| "I sat there with tears I could not restrain, running | | | | what was happening. It still hurts; that is the best |
| down my cheeks," Linda relates in her ebook. "It | | | | way to describe it. It Hurts! A pain in my stomach |
| has been almost one year. When do you begin to | | | | like someone punched me, took my breath away. |
| feel like a person again?" | | | | I really did not think I could go on alone. You |
| She tells of joining a group for widows and | | | | never know, you just never know." |
| widowers called THEOS, an acronym for They | | | | She also talks of how her world changed when, in |
| Help Each Other Spiritually, noting, "It's helpful to | | | | the doctor's office with Gene, they learned the |
| associate with those who have survived | | | | reason for Gene's headaches and double vision. |
| widowhood for various lengths of time." | | | | "It's a brain tumor, inoperable," the doctor |
| "I believe only someone who has experienced the | | | | declared. |
| death of a spouse can really understand the pain | | | | She said her happy life fell into "The Slippery Pit." |
| and confusion," Linda wrote. "Maybe only children, | | | | "When we lose our spouse," she said, "we are not |
| as I am, can adjust simply because we start out | | | | ourselves any more. After 32 years, nowhere |
| alone. We had only ourselves to depend on when | | | | near enough time, I would be alone again. I could |
| we were young. I don't know if this is true or not, | | | | not even grasp it. My mind could not accept it." |
| just a personal theory. Or, it makes us feel more | | | | In her ebook, Linda tells of meeting three other |
| alone." | | | | "gals" at THEOS and of going to a few singles' |
| Gene Palucci was a personal friend, and a | | | | dances. She describes her experience at that first |
| neighbor, when we both lived in Darien, Conn. The | | | | dance as "rough." |
| only son of Eugene and Margaret Palucci, he was | | | | "I sat there wondering what am I doing here? |
| a native of adjacent Stamford where he grew up | | | | The men were not appealing, and the music was |
| with his sisters, Audrey and Geri. | | | | too loud. I felt dead inside." |
| He was a likable, happy-go-lucky guy with a good | | | | "Rosemary, the proprietor, asked why I was not |
| disposition and a great sense of humor. He and | | | | dancing. I burst out, 'I can't feel the music!' This |
| Linda raised four boys, Russ, Scott, Chris and | | | | was true; the music was gone. Nothing seemed |
| Greg and a girl, Cheryl, in Darien. Later they | | | | important." |
| moved to nearby Bridgeport. | | | | "In the beginning a widow can sit at home and |
| A quintessential family man, Gene was a Little | | | | cry," Linda said. "After a while, 'they' say she |
| League baseball manager for more than 10 years | | | | must get back into the world, pick up the pieces |
| as well as a Boy Scout leader. Despite his other | | | | and make a new life; like the Phoenix from the |
| numerous activities, he served as a volunteer | | | | ashes of before. |
| firefighter with the Noroton Fire Department, one | | | | |