Surviving the Death of a Spouse

"If you're going through hell, keep going." --of three volunteer departments in the town of
Winston ChurchillDarien, which lies between the cities of Stamford
Linda Palucci, widow of Eugene Palucci, did justand Norwalk.
that when she lost her husband to a brain tumorA U.S. Navy veteran, Gene learned to drive large
and cancer on March 21, 1992 after a long,rigs when he was in the service. Linda says he
desperate struggle. She went through Hell, yes,joined the U.S. Navy because he loved the water,
but she kept going.but he was stationed in Tennessee. He told Linda
After her long, stress-filled ordeal trying to copethe only time he saw any ships were in the
with Gene's illness and death, she felt it wasHudson River when he drove over the George
important to continue writing down her thoughtsWashington Bridge. As a civilian after his discharge
to help work her way through the aftermath. Shefrom the Navy, he drove a variety of trucks,
later felt that her experience could, perhaps, helpmoonlighting often as a limousine driver, taking
others cope with their grief after the death of atravelers to the LaGuardia and John F. Kennedy
spouse. That's why she decided to publish theairports in New York.
story of Gene's suffering and her own veryLinda, who was born in 1940, daughter of Larry
personal struggle throughout his illness and afterand Ruth Northrup, lives in Trumbull, Conn., near
his death.Bridgeport, where she works part-time in a gift
Linda tells her story openly and vividly through hershop at the Beardsley Zoo She began her work
tears, often taking from the diary she keptcareer as a long distance telephone operator.
throughout that horrific time. Chipmunka PublishingSince Gene's death, Linda has had to face her
Co. of the United Kingdom, an organizationown physical challenges. She is a cancer survivor,
dedicated to mental health issues and "improvingbut first had to undergo a laryngectomy.
the way the world thinks about mental health,"In discussing her ebook, Linda said, "This is my
published Linda's story recently in an ebook titled,story of the death and first year of widowhood.
"Out of the Slippery Pit."It is all true. I wrote it to try and make sense of
"I sat there with tears I could not restrain, runningwhat was happening. It still hurts; that is the best
down my cheeks," Linda relates in her ebook. "Itway to describe it. It Hurts! A pain in my stomach
has been almost one year. When do you begin tolike someone punched me, took my breath away.
feel like a person again?"I really did not think I could go on alone. You
She tells of joining a group for widows andnever know, you just never know."
widowers called THEOS, an acronym for TheyShe also talks of how her world changed when, in
Help Each Other Spiritually, noting, "It's helpful tothe doctor's office with Gene, they learned the
associate with those who have survivedreason for Gene's headaches and double vision.
widowhood for various lengths of time.""It's a brain tumor, inoperable," the doctor
"I believe only someone who has experienced thedeclared.
death of a spouse can really understand the painShe said her happy life fell into "The Slippery Pit."
and confusion," Linda wrote. "Maybe only children,"When we lose our spouse," she said, "we are not
as I am, can adjust simply because we start outourselves any more. After 32 years, nowhere
alone. We had only ourselves to depend on whennear enough time, I would be alone again. I could
we were young. I don't know if this is true or not,not even grasp it. My mind could not accept it."
just a personal theory. Or, it makes us feel moreIn her ebook, Linda tells of meeting three other
alone.""gals" at THEOS and of going to a few singles'
Gene Palucci was a personal friend, and adances. She describes her experience at that first
neighbor, when we both lived in Darien, Conn. Thedance as "rough."
only son of Eugene and Margaret Palucci, he was"I sat there wondering what am I doing here?
a native of adjacent Stamford where he grew upThe men were not appealing, and the music was
with his sisters, Audrey and Geri.too loud. I felt dead inside."
He was a likable, happy-go-lucky guy with a good"Rosemary, the proprietor, asked why I was not
disposition and a great sense of humor. He anddancing. I burst out, 'I can't feel the music!' This
Linda raised four boys, Russ, Scott, Chris andwas true; the music was gone. Nothing seemed
Greg and a girl, Cheryl, in Darien. Later theyimportant."
moved to nearby Bridgeport."In the beginning a widow can sit at home and
A quintessential family man, Gene was a Littlecry," Linda said. "After a while, 'they' say she
League baseball manager for more than 10 yearsmust get back into the world, pick up the pieces
as well as a Boy Scout leader. Despite his otherand make a new life; like the Phoenix from the
numerous activities, he served as a volunteerashes of before.
firefighter with the Noroton Fire Department, one